


Lean On

by xagentofchaos



Series: Drakecest drabbles [1]
Category: Uncharted (Video Games)
Genre: AU, Angst, Brothers, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy, Implied/Referenced Incest, M/M, SO FLUFFY, coming out as sinners, drakecest, help me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-29 17:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7693369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xagentofchaos/pseuds/xagentofchaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The trio finds Elena in the motel room and old memories from the past starts dwelling back up in Nathan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I love sinning.
> 
> It's not following the game, obviously. 
> 
> All grammar mistakes etc etc belongs to me.

At first glance, his heart stopped beating in his chest. Because the mere presence of Elena in the room threw his mind back to his former reality again. A steady life, with his wife. The blonde woman he claimed at the altar and slept next to at nights. That woman was standing in the motel room, tears almost streaming down her cheeks in desperate need to know what was going on. Almost as much _need_ Nate had in this mission. Almost. He had the need to find Avery’s treasure and there was a constant worrying about Sam ( _where is Sam, is he beside me, is he smiling, why isn’t he eating, oh god I need to find Sam, what if something bad happened, what if he’s dead, is he dead, oh god sam sam sam sam_ ). But he’s been happy still, always in an adrenaline rush when Shoreline has been upon them. Happy to see his brother alive, breathing. For a few weeks, he’d been in trance; on edge. Not really there. Afraid to lose control, afraid to lose his brother again. But happy still.

He would try to justify his actions again, even though he already knew it was too late. Elena was crying and Nate’s insides were crumbling. He tried to explain to her why this was important, of why he had to lie. But she stopped trusting him completely while minutes went by, with them standing in this room. In this cold, awkward room surrounded by unfamiliar noises. And an audience. 

Sully was walking around, staring meekly up on the ceiling, trying to pretend he was elsewhere. But he kept both ears on, focusing on Nate’s half-assed way to make Elena understand Nate’s desperate need. She wouldn’t understand so Nate had to break her heart a little more. 

He turned around halfway to glance at his brother, who was leaning against the wall and looked shyly over at Nate’s wife. And Nate’s hands started to tremble. 

“Elena, this is Sam, the man I need to save. He’s my b-“ 

The word felt wrong on his tongue, as if it was poison for his already corrupted soul. He couldn’t bring himself to say it, not even spit it out like a disease. The world seemed blurry around him and the ground shook beneath his feet. All of a sudden he was on a rooftop with his brother again, both of them young and tipsy. Sam had brought beer for them to share and the night was crispy. The moon stood high on the sky and stars were glistening fiery, but the only star for Nate was Sam. They sat close to share body heat and for Nate to not have a suspect runny nose when the nuns would check in on the sleeping boys. They were talking about a bright future containing both of them on a sunny beach, living the life they deserved. Both of them against the rest of the world and nothing would ever get in their way. 

_but things did get in our way, didn’t they sam? when people kept having opinions on how we should live and thought we needed help with decisions. when the one person that actually mattered spoke about a world and others thought we only needed some dust from the ground, that’s when we knew that we needed to change_

The night turned into an explosion of colors and it started to warm up around them. Nate had been putting his head sleepily on Sam’s shoulder and he truly felt like home. There had been warmth in his chest when looking up at Sam from that angle, a flutter of thousands and thousands of butterflies. Heat creeping up his face when Sam glanced back down at him with a sly smile on his face. 

_i didn’t understand it at first of what was happening to me, i had only thought it was normal. but when i stole a kiss from you that early morning and your smile turned cold and solid, i knew i was wrong. seemingly young and innocent from another perspective, but with you i was a rascal. so i tried to joke it away but the words got stuck in my throat. all i wanted was to kiss you again and the butterflies started to die inside of me_

“Your what?” Elena asks with a thickness in her voice, unsure what to make of the situation she was in. _he’s my soul, my heart, my everything. he’s the lungs in my chest, the air that i breathe, the blood in my veins_. Nate couldn’t look at her because he was lost in another timeline. No one else in the room spoke. He couldn’t bring himself to even look at Sam in that moment but he knew the man wasn’t looking at him. He was probably looking down on the floor or his hands ( _those very hands that’s been everywhere on my body, holding me tight at nights and caressing me softly in the mornings_ ), wishing to be able to go out and smoke. Nate almost told him to do so; told both of the men to leave for a while so that Nate could sit down with his wife and tell her everything she needed to know. But he just couldn’t do it. His mind was simply occupied with dangerous thoughts of a past and presence that she never had to know anything about. 

_it took me a while to figure out what it meant when you kissed me back that morning, after you had that long talk about how we shouldn’t and that we are brothers, as if i had forgotten. so did you forget yourself, when you placed your lips against mine before we parted? did you forget that our blood runs the same?_

They were a secret. A dirty one with brotherly love and deep moans into the dark. A taste of smoke and skin underneath naked lips, wet tongues and sweaty foreheads. Both crashing together like a mass of absorption, bonded in blood and heart. Worshipped cravings in a motel bed and they stopped being ashamed of their undying lust for each other after a couple of months. It was never just about the sex, it was the small things. The seemingly brotherly touches in public, the way their hands accidentally brushed together and forced out a shy smile from both their lips. It was the unexplainable _love_ they felt.

 _maybe_ , Nate thought as he dared to meet Elena’s trembling gaze, _maybe my love for her was just for rent. when sam supposedly died and i almost died with him in seas of liquor bottles and pills. maybe my soul somehow knew that i needed to stay alive to get my sam back again_

He looked away from Elena to travel his gaze back to Sam, who was now looking directly at him with his brows furrowed. The smell of confusion lied thick in the room. He didn’t keep his eyes on Sam for too long and kept travelling to the other man. His best friend, Victor Sullivan, also looked at him. He must be the most confused one out of all. Nate had to force back an apologetic smile that surely wouldn’t reassure the overall emotional atmosphere. Between the three of them he was having around him, Sully had to be the one he was the most worried about to lose right now. But how could a man his age stay around if he knew what went down inside his dirty mind? 

_i knew i truly loved you when you broke me out of the orphanage but couldn’t talk about it out loud. you were still ashamed of yourself and kept swearing before kissing me. it wasn’t until after your death i said it out loud. screaming ‘i love you sam, i love you’ until my throat was bleeding and eyes were streaming with burning tears. when i got you back, it didn’t take long before i had your mouth on mine again. you didn’t even protest to remind me that i’m married and i’m glad you didn’t_

“This is Sam”, Nate whispers, “my boyfriend.” 

_the tears don’t matter right now, all i understand is your expression. the shock in your eyes and the o-shaped mouth. the way elena is breaking apart doesn’t matter right now, the way sully scrunches his nose and looks affronted to say the least. it doesn’t matter sam. i love you, i meant to say that earlier_

Sam keeps looking shocked and at loss of words, his gaze is bobbing between Nate and Elena but is dead-on to not look at Sully who is now gaping widely. He hears Elena scream at him but he can’t understand a single word she’s saying. There is a million ways this could’ve gone smoother, but in this moment it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t look to see Elena storm out of the door with her wedding ring thrown on the floor. Neither does he listen to Sully’s demands to follow her and only hears his angry stomps on his way out. 

Left alone with Sam in a meekly lit room, with shouting in the background and a soft chatter from the room next to theirs. He walks up to his brother, _boyfriend_ , and doesn’t wait for a acceptance but kisses him anyway. To his relief, Sam actually responds to the kiss and they’re lost for a moment in each other’s lips. 

“Out of all the _stupid_ ways you could’ve outed us; this has got to be the single most insane one”, Sam murmurs into Nate’s neck. “Not only do I have Alcazar on my ass, but now I also have your ex’s?” He pops his face up and stares begrudgingly ( _and perhaps a little shy?_ ) at Nate who can only wear a soft and dreamy look on his. He’s not down from the high yet. “Listen, if you wanted me dead you could’ve just said so.” 

“We’ll take care of Elena later”, Nate murmurs and tries to steal a kiss from Sam again but is stopped by his index finger. 

“Uh-huh, first of all little brother, that sounded extremely close to murder. Second of all, _you’ll_ take care of this, _I’m_ innocent.” He removes his finger to stroke the side of Nate’s face. “And… boyfriend? Really? That sounds dangerously normal.” 

“I couldn’t tell her we are brothers, could I?” Nate chuckles and earns a sly grin from Sam.

_if i was someone else, i’d react to how oddly good you took this whole thing. i just basically told sully that incest was happening behind his back. and even though you stated worry about elena, i know you don’t really care about it. it doesn’t matter, sam. it doesn’t matter because you’re alive and you’re going to stay that way. and i love you. i love you i love you i love you. did i ever tell you? i love you, big brother boyfriend, ‘til the end_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Nathan found out about the Alcazar lie

”We knew each other when we were kids; we grew up on the same orphanage. He was my best friend, my rock to survive that place and the world until…” he has to stop himself to spill out the entire story of how he and Sam knew each other from a long time ago, before he met Elena. He couldn’t tell her about the kisses on the rooftops, the secrecy between them. Even if they did live in a catholic orphanage where the mere thought of two boys together would throw even Father Duffy through the roof, and she would probably understand why at that part; he just couldn’t tell her. It was still a secret between him and Sam that the rest of the world could know nothing about. 

He couldn’t tell her about how they found their mother’s journals and changed their original surname Morgan to Drake. Or when they made a blood pact to ensure their souls together forever, even if they already are brothers. It felt important _because_ they’re brothers. None of them want to spend an eternity in hell because of the dirt they’re currently wading in. 

He just couldn’t tell her the main plot of the story because if he did, she’d probably kill him. She was already pissed off he’d been sneaking around with another person behind her back. Even if Sam was actually first.

“…Until I thought he died. In Panama.” He had to bite the inside of his cheeks still, because of that memory. Of how his brother coughed blood and fell to the ground. Of how he couldn’t save him. “For fifteen years, he was gone. I almost- I just-“ Again, he paused. How could he tell her in the best, none-gruesome way that he almost shot himself in the head seven times out of desperation and loss? He should probably be quiet. 

Without daring to look up at the woman he married, he can feel her gaze running on his face. He doesn’t know what it says, but it’s probably bad. 

“You should’ve told me”, Elena says in a small voice. 

“How? I didn’t want to remind myself.” Nathan sits up from his lying position and gathers himself to look at his ex. He’d taken off his ring too after the motel scandal and placed it on the drawer and left it there. There was no use in putting it back on his finger since his feelings for Elena disappeared as soon as he met his brother again. As soon as two souls became one again, his rented feelings vanished in the late night air. 

Fifteen years he was gone for Nathan. He made calls, sent letters, even faxes but _nothing_. He was broken in pieces, heartbroken and afraid. Alone for real, for the first time of his life and he didn’t know where to go. He sought self-destruction to forget and bottles of pills to die. Three attempts later and woken up in a hospital with Rafe standing by the bedside and telling him what a complete moron he is and reminding him of Avery, shook him back to reality. They hunted the treasure for a while together. Rafe dead-on to be rich and famous, Nathan dead-on to clean his soul and treasure his and Sam’s destiny. Until, of course, he and Rafe got sick of each other and the leads were dead. He had no other choice but to turn his back on the mission again. 

Fifteen years of lying to himself when it could’ve been just thirteen. He bites his cheek harder this time until he tastes blood. That bastard put him on hold for two years because what? Getting some clues? _With Rafe_? It made his insides boil of rage. He spent one year of being suicidal and miserable and fourteen years in a shade of lies. Sam spent thirteen harmless years in jail and got out to work with Rafe of all fucking people when his little brother, his lover, his heart, his every _goddamn_ thing, was rotting. At least that’s what he thought he was to Sam but maybe he isn’t? Maybe he’s forgotten all about the rooftops, the dark nights pressed against each other’s naked bodies and the blood pact. 

_no_ , he forces himself to think. _no, he found you at last, why would he kiss you that hard and lovingly outside by the bench at your job? why would he almost tear you apart with the strength of his arms because he needed to feel every inch of you so badly? why would he drink up all of your emotions when you honestly cried on his shoulder when he was finally inside of you on the worktable? why would he kiss you roughly and then sweetly on your sweaty forehead when none of you lasted more than three minutes? why on earth would he hide his face in_ your _shoulder and say it’s his sweat when you knew it was tears?_

“Because he’s an idiot”, he whispers to himself and earned a confused look from Elena. ( _no, because he loves you nathan, he loves you more than anything. he came back for you, because he doesn’t know when to stop. he can’t stop with avery and he certainly can’t stop with you_ ) “He lied to me.” Then he’s off to find his stupid brother with Elena running along behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan is pretty damn pissed off
> 
> ...but it's getting resolved and yada yada

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so GOOD at writing summaries jeez

All of the pent of up frustration Nathan had in him was lost in the atmosphere that was filled with dread. One man down, two down, _three four five dead_. The Shoreline soldiers fell dead like flies around him. His muscles were aching and the lactic acid burst in his body, but he kept going and going. Sand and dust were occupying his sight and he was out of breath. But he needed to survive so he continued to shoot. _Bam, bam, BAM_. Three more dead.

He wasn’t angry, just frustrated. And a little hurt. He had bought Sam’s lies immideately off the bat, without questioning anything because why would he? He just assumed his big brother would never lie to him. Especially not a lie this big, just to get him on the hook again. He’d save his brother’ life any day but when Sam had come to him that night, the man wasn’t in any need for help. He just wanted Nathan to find the treasure with him. Finding out that his biggest idol wasn’t being honest with him, fucking stung a lot. Especially after everything they had been through together. It seemed now that it was never about getting him back for Sam, it was about the treasure. 

When, _if_ , he found Sam again, he’d punch him right in his face. 

He moved from his spot, hiding behind an unstable crate. The Shoreliners screamed at him to come out while shooting at him. _Yeah right_ , he thought and rolled quickly over to another crate before the other one was completely broken. He kept doing the little dance while killing a few more, until he heard Elena shout something behind him. He turned slightly to her to hear better and saw her point up on a hill in front of them. He looked up to spot Sam. His big brother was currently having a face-to-face fight with two soldiers, grunting and supposedly bleeding if Nate saw properly. 

Still feeling frustrated but was able to push it aside, he moved as quickly and smoothly as possible without getting hit, upwards to his brother. While the remained soldiers focused on Elena, he was able to shoot the two who punched Sam in the face. That’s my job, as an annoying little brother, not yours, he thought and moved upwards. Elena had climbed up the hill to Sam, and Nate was just about to swing himself up when a gunshot graced his side and he lost grip. Falling down backwards onto the ground again, the air was blown out of his lungs and he had to cough several times before finding himself again. And then it was too late. He heard a distant rumble from a car that only grew louder the longer he lied on the ground. So he stood up to run over to the side where Elena and Sam were but was stopped by that very car. 

He put his hands up in the air to try to resonate with the driver and soldier on top that was aiming for him (or maybe buying some more time, while slowly backing away from the vehicle). _Calm down_ , he thought, mostly to himself while staring straight into the soldier’s eyes. He received a grim smirk and realized he had to move. Turning around, he started running; faster than he’s ever run before while getting shot at from a crazily fast car. Lucky him; the driver wasn’t good in the curves, and that bought him more time. All he could think about was getting to Sam and Elena. _Surviving, surviving, surviving_. It was all about surviving at this point. He can’t beat the shit out of his arrogant brother if he’s dead.

Running in stairs and throwing himself from one rooftop to another, the car is still eager to run him over. His lungs are close to combust and the sweat is literally bursting out of his skin. He feels like he’s about to faint and it’s the adrenaline that’s keeping him on feet. He’s reached a dead end, surrounded by rocks too high to climb on his own, and the soldier on the car is a good aimer. All he can do is run around in circles, like a headless chicken, and he feels just as stupid. Until he hears a familiar voice above him and he could almost scream of joy when Sully threw a rocket gun down to him. Loading the sucker up, he aimed it at the soldiers who probably were shaking in their boots by now, and shot. A loud explosion hit him and he almost bent down from the pain he felt in his ears. The ringing kept on going even when he got up on the rocks next to Sully. 

“Th-the others, I need to find Sam… and Elena”, he explained halfheartedly to Sully while hitting his head gently to get rid of the ringing. 

“Hey”, he heard a female voice and looked up to see Elena walk up to him. “You okay? I heard an explosion and thought-“

“I’m okay”, Nate interrupted. He hugged Elena out of reflex but tensed up right away. It was still a sour atmosphere around them from when Nate told her about him and Sam. But Elena hugged him back, not tightly but just to assure him that they were good. At least a little. “Where’s Sam?” he had to ask when she let go. 

“Right here”, the voice of Sam was heard as he walked up where Elena had. He breathed out and calmed down immideately when he saw Sam’s face. The other man was more beat up than the rest of them, with a bloody bandage around his left bicep. Nate’s immediate thought was to walk up and give him a sucker punch after all the frustration and hurt feelings he’s felt. And apparently his face spoke louder than he had initially thought because the tired smile Sam had on his face, slowly died and he backed a few steps. Not out of fear, but with an apologetic expression on his face. He held his hands up as to calm the situation down when Nate moved towards him. But all the running for his life and finally seeing Sam again had put the fire out. He wasn’t interested in punching his brother and instead he drew him into a close hug and dipped his forehead on Sam’s shoulder. It was the first time they were close in front of Elena and Sully, maybe that’s why it took a while for Sam to hug him back. But as he did and tightened his grip, everything else around them disappeared. He knew Sam felt it too because he buried his face in Nate’s hair and sighed with relief. 

“Nathan…” he murmured with a small voice but Nate just shook his head, he already knew what Sam was going to say. 

“Not now, it’s okay. I forgive you. Just- not now”, Nate begged and he felt Sam nod slowly against his scalp. 

“Boys, we need to get a move on”, Sully interrupted with a tense voice. Nate couldn’t tell if he was actually watching or not. He let go of Sam a little but just to give him a small kiss on his lips before turning around to follow the others. 

He was about to jump down a cliff when he heard Sully’s voice again; “Come on Sam, why aren’t you moving, did you lose the ability to walk?” and he popped his head up to see his brother struggle with deciding where to go. Nate knew immideately what he was thinking about and it made his heart twist in his chest. After everything that’s happened; the lies, the almost dying every second, and the constant fear of losing one another, Sam was still dead-on to find the treasure. Nate had to pull himself up and walk back to Sam, who still had the apologetic expression on his face. He could barely look Nate in the eyes, but his clenched fist showed that he wasn’t coming with them. So Nate had to make a decision, did he go with Sully and Elena back to safety? Or did he go with his brother to a place that was probably surrounded by Shoreline by now, and where they could die once and for all? 

“I’m not letting you out of my sight again”, Nate said to him and turned to Sully who opened his mouth to protest. “We’re going to find Avery’s treasure. You take Elena to the plane and keep the engines warm; we’ll be back in a minute.” He grabbed Sam’s shoulder and pushed him towards the way before Sully had the time to say anything. 

“ _Ha haaa_! That’s my boy!” Sam cheered joyfully and put his arm around Nate’s shoulder and almost skipped on his feet like the little fanboy he kept inside his heart. 

“It’s you and me in this”, Nate explained. “It’s always been you and me.”

“We are _destined_ to do this”, Sam agreed and smiled brightly. 

“Until the end.”

**Author's Note:**

> Do you love sinning?


End file.
